Betrayal. Fighting. Laughter. Mood Swings. Taking Sides. Faking it.

This week has been rough. A lot of stuff happened that really messed with me. But with all hardships comes experience for the future. After finally being clear enough to think about things, I found that I’ve learned a lot not only in this week, but for the past few months, when things started going south.

What I’ve Learned:

Shouting never helps. If you’ve got a bone to pick with someone, shouting and making a big fuss about it isn’t going to help you one bit. If you’re starting to fight with someone, walk away, calm yourself down, and take a few deep breaths. Once you’re feeling a bit more leveled, go back to the person and talk to the person about the problem. Try to be understanding and make sure you know what’s going on. Hopefully, you can reach a middle ground of sorts with said person.

You can’t bottle emotions, but you can’t wear every emotion on your sleeve either. These are two hazardous extremes many people fall into for whatever reasons. Bottling emotions makes you bitter and angry all the time, as well as exhausts you. But, on the flip side, showing every emotion you ever have, especially if it’s extreme, scares people off and makes you seem like you’re bipolar or something. It’s okay to show emotion, but if it’s not necessary, save it for when you’re alone. Find an outlet, like a journal or something. Heck, if you’re angry, blow stuff up on video games. It makes me feel a lot better.

You can’t close your eyes and pretend everything’s okay when it’s not. I’ve done this for so many years, since I just hate facing up with the bad. I don’t know how to deal with it, is the bottom line, and that scares the crap out of me. But pretending it doesn’t exist won’t help you. It’ll just make you bottle up everything that’s happening to you and cause you to explode one day, maybe on someone that doesn’t deserve it.

Don’t take frustration out on other people. If you’re angry, and your friend or your sister didn’t really do anything wrong, don’t blow up at them because something else is bothering you. If it’s that bad, take it out on the person who did it to you. No one’s invincible. If it’s something small or something that can’t be helped that just builds up, find an outlet that doesn’t hurt anyone. I’ve found that homework, math in particular, is good at relieving stress. It kills emotion and gives me time to collect myself.

People change, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s sad, but true. Even your best friend, the one person you know inside and out, can become someone you don’t even recognize. And it’s going to hurt like hell, especially if they change in such a way that they don’t think highly of you anymore. You can’t force them to go back to how they used to be. It’s their choice and their life, not yours. If it’s possible, talk to them and see if you can make things work. You may not be as close as you used to be, but there was a reason you guys were friends in the first place, right? If not, you’ll just have to find a way to pick yourself up and move on, no matter how hard it’ll be. It’s their loss in the end.

Sleep on it. Before doing anything rash or anything that’ll cause problems, whether it be writing someone a note because of a problem there’s been lately, chewing someone out for something they did, or anything like that, sleep on it. I’m not saying that, in the middle of a school day or work day, you should fall asleep and then do it. Give it a day. Think about what you’re going to do, and don’t let your emotions control you. Things will be better in the end if you just give it time. Nine times out of ten, you’ll rethink your actions and find a better way to make things work.

You have to be self-reliant. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have friends. I’m not saying you should shut those friends out and be a lone wolf when it comes to problems. But you have to know how to tackle issues and pick yourself up when you don’t have anyone to go to. It’s nice to have a friend to cry to, but you can’t go to them for everything. They’ll get tired of hearing it. Not that your friends don’t care, but they have their own problems, and sometimes it’s not even as big of a deal as you’re making it. Find an outlet that involves just you. Journal. Blog. Talk to yourself, if you have issues writing stuff down like I do. It’s not that you can’t trust anyone, people can be there for you, sometimes unlikely people, but there will be situations you have to handle yourself. You need to know how to address it and move on, or else you’ll end up alone and miserable.

I learned all this the hard way. I know that it’s not easy, but try to heed my warnings in here. I realize that may not be possible, for something you have to learn yourself, but at least, if you paid attention, you’ll be prepared and know you’re not alone.